Corn King Bacon – Horrible, horrible, horrible.

<div class="serendipity_imageComment_right" style="width: 300px"><div class="serendipity_imageComment_img"><a class='serendipity_image_link' href='' onclick="F1 ='/uploads/images/CornKingBacon.jpg','Zoom','height=370,width=570,top=227.5,left=370.5,toolbar=no,menubar=no,location=no,resize=1,resizable=1,scrollbars=yes'); return false;"><!– s9ymdb:155 –><img class="serendipity_image_right" width="300" height="192" src="" alt="" /></a></div><div class="serendipity_imageComment_txt">Corn King bacon is shitty.</div></div>Corn King Bacon has to be one of the most horrible meat products ever shrink-wrapped, boxed, and stuck in the butcher's cooler.<br />nCorn King bacon is impossibly thin to work with. The meat has chunks of lop-sided fat that's congealed together and not cut properly.<br />nThere are a lot of things I don't know much about, but bacon is NOT one of them.<br />nIn the above picture please notice the Corn King wallowing in shit. Then notice the Corn King package full of shit. This seems like a better use of the packaging and my hard-earned dollar than buying your bacon.<br />nI hope you die Corn King. You can't even slice open a pig's belly and carve out a decent chunk of fat from it's gut. It's not rocket science. <br />n<br />nI've come up with a mouth-watering recipe using a pound of Corn King Bacon you may have accidentally ended up with.<br />n<br />nWhat you'll need:<br />n1 pound Corn King Bacon – (any variety will do)<br />n1/2 cup mayo or salad dressing<br />n1 tsp celery seed<br />n2 tbsp white vinegar<br />n4 – 4 oz pork chops<br />n<br />nDirections : Preheat oven to 400 degrees<br />nIn a bowl, combine celery seed, vinegar, and salad dressing. Add a dash of pepper if desired.<br />nMix ingredients thoroughly until there are no lumps.<br />nPull apart the god-forsaken excuse for bacon (if you can) and pull it's gold leaf-like strips of hog fat onto a paper towel.<br />nIn a 14" glass bottom pan – take the chops and wrap them with the impossibly thin strips of "bacon". Use toothpicks to secure the gellatenous substance to the pork chops. Set in pan.<br />nPour previously mixed mayo mix over prepared chops.<br />nBake at 400 degrees for 40 minutes or until the bacon completely melts into fat and falls off of the pork chops.<br />nLet cool for 5 – 10 minutes.<br />nCarefully remove from oven, and empty contents of glassware into the garbage.<br />nNow eat the glass bottom pan. – It will be more satisfying.<br />


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